Teaching your kids self love and brotherly love on Valentine’s Day & beyond

Valentine’s Day is more than roses, expensive gifts & dinners, and chocolate.  (Ok, well, maybe that’s going a little too far, chocolate’s pretty important).  What I’m trying to say is that Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to think about what love means and how we can teach our children to love themselves on February 14 and every day of the year with some simple activities.

When I was in college, I remember I had a friend that could be a big downer if something wasn’t going her way, and Valentine’s Day was no exception.  “Ok girls!” she announced to our group of friends one early February day.  “I’ve decided I’m going to wear black next week for Valentine’s Day! I’m so sick of guys and I don’t care about roses and dates and I’m going to wear black! Who’s with me?!!!”  And I thought to myself “This is so sad.  She’s getting so upset.  She’s completely tying her association of love and self love to boys.”  I tried to tell her that Valentine’s Day ISNT just about romantic love, that it’s just about love.

Ohhhh that was a mistake.  She did not like hearing that, said I was crazy, and stormed off.   But I couldn’t understand why she didn’t understand the deeper meaning of such a beautiful holiday.

Valentine’s Day celebrates Love! Love for friends, family, and yourself.

To better understand all the layers of love, let’s go back in time to the Ancient Greeks.

Did you know the ancient Greeks described seven kinds of love!  Yes!  Seven, including self-love!

• Eros= Passion
• Philia=Deep friendship or camaraderie
• Ludus=Playful love (like between children, or even flirtation)
• Agape=Love for everyone
• Pragma=Longstanding love (like the kind between old married couples)
• Storge=Love from Family
• Philautia= Healthy Love of Self  (not to be confused with narcissism, which is self-obsessed love of self)

Aristotle said “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.” This means that in order to really fully love others, one has to love thyself and understood that they are loved by others.

I remembered all the wonderful Valentine’s Days of my childhood. My mom would make a little party for our family and we’d all get Valentine’s cards and super yummy chocolate and we’d eat pizza because we LOVED it (and it was red like hearts) and we celebrated our love as a family (or as the Ancient Greeks would have called it, our “storge.”)

The Ancient Greeks understood the importance of embracing all kinds of love (all seven of them) and not just relying on one kind.  So often, we hype up erros love into this sort of perfect love–but without love of family, love of friends, and most importantly love of self, you can’t truly embrace the more well-known erros or passionate love.

So what can we do to help our kids understand and demonstrate a well balanced palate of love?

Model it at home.

Perhaps have a valentine’s Day party, and celebrate as family.

I always try and do a fun Valentine’s celebration or super fun activity just like my mom did growing up.   My girls loved doing something special for Mommy and Daddy and our relatives.

Don’t neglect your pragma or erros love.

Let your kids know you’re going out for a romantic valentine’s dinner with Dad or show them the gifts or cards you exchanged–something simple so they can see a healthy demonstration of those kinds of love.

Related Post

Send your sweetheart a secret message with this fun invisible ink idea.

Support the  Valentine’s Day card exchange at your child’s school.

Help them understand that it’s a special day to celebrate their friendships.  If they don’t like everyone in their class, this is a good time to talk about Agape–brotherly love/ love for everyone even if they’re not a closer friend (Philia).

Related Posts:

Easy Cereal Box Valentine’s Day Mailbox

Heart-Shaped Door Knob Mailbox

Super EASY and Super FANCY mylar Valentine’s Day boxes–Visit my Valentine’s Day InstaStory Highlights on Instagram!

How do you celebrate love at Valentine’s Day and throughout the year? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Jump on over to our Community Facebook Group and join the conversation!

And HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY.  I LOVE that you are part of my Our Sutton Place Community.

admin

HI! I’m a Shana, self-proclaimed Media Mixologist, wife, and mom to two little girls. I love to mix up cocktails of crafts, recipes, wellness, family and business with just the right amount of sparkle to help you shine everyday. So, grab a glass, and let’s celebrate the cocktail of life!