Spring is a great time to freshen up your wardrobe and jewelry collection. It's time…
Losing Your Hair-’80’s Style
Last winter, as I sat at my second chemo session, I could feel my hair fluttering down all around me. It literally started falling like leaves off of a tree. I tried to ignore it, thinking it was just a few strands, until the nurse (who was a bit of a smart-ass) said “Honey, you’re hair is done. You need to go home and have your husband shave it off. Just have fun. Don’t even think about it.” And so I did.
That evening, we had a Head Shaving Party. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want to cry and cry. I knew I had to be brave for my girls, so I just made it as fun as possible.
As you can see in the picture above, the hair around my temples was completely gone. As it had fallen out, it tangled with the rest of my hair and had started dreadding. I looked like a true Boulder Hippie. We shaved off the dreads and went into punk mode, creating a rockin’ mohawk. In a matter of minutes, I was able to experience hippie dreads and a punk mohawk–not bad for one evening.
My husband kept shaving my head and we kept laughing–trying to mask what was really going on–until there was only 1 little bit of mohawk left.
And on the count of three, it was gone. I took a deep breath, and tried to smile and laugh when I heard this sad little cry, “Nooooooooo.” It was my two 1/2 year old. “No, Mommy. Daddy cut all of your hair!” And then she started to cry which brought tears to my eyes. So I gave her a big hug and said “It’s OK. It’s just hair. It will grow back really soon.”
They say the key to raising a strong, resilient child is to share your experiences with them–good, bad, and ugly–and by doing so, show them how you can make it through. I’m glad I shared this with my daughter and didn’t try to hide it. I know in moments like these some people may use grace and others a stiff upper lip. We used lots of hair gel and laughter. I know this resonated with my daughter and will forever help her tackle life’s challenges. As we all learned in the ’80s, no matter the situation, lots of hair gel (and comedy) can make you bigger than the sum of your parts.
HI! I’m a Shana, self-proclaimed Media Mixologist, wife, and mom to two little girls. I love to mix up cocktails of crafts, recipes, wellness, family and business with just the right amount of sparkle to help you shine everyday. So, grab a glass, and let’s celebrate the cocktail of life!
Such a great attitude you have Shana! I loved reading about how you handled this part of the awful prognosis and treatment. You are an inspiration! Xxxooo
Thanks! I want people to remember that they can always laugh and smile even during the darkest of times.
Thanks for sharing this. It made me laugh and cry….you are an inspiration, Shana!
Thanks, Emily! I’m glad you liked it and found it inspiring and even a little funny. 🙂 I’m trying to approach all of this as a classic Dramedy because through tears should come laughter.
When my husband hair started to come out we did the same thing, except my daughter shaved my head first (she also took a picture if me with a Mohawk). Then he was ready, we are bald together and he was surprised I went th through with the promise, he loves rubbing my bald head. You look beautiful!!!
Thanks, Kathy! I couldn’t bring myself to take a picture of myself completely bald. So now i just have the funny criminal-looking mohawk shots. haha! That was so wonderful and brave of you to shave your head to support your husband. As a woman, it is not easy. It makes you think about all of the things and ways that we define beauty.
YOU ARE SO BRAVE YOUR FAMILY HAVE 1 GREAT MOMMY WHO EVEN IN TIMES LIKE THIS CONSIDERS HER CHILDREN GL TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY XXX
Thanks, Maggie! I can’t imagine handling it any other way.
Love your attitude, Shana! It’s more than half the battle. I think the boulder hippies have a pretty rad style, so go with it. 😉 I let my son shave my head after my 3rd chemo. I wanted him to feel he had some control over a situation that seemed out of control at the time. I’m wishing you a speedy recovery, uneventful treatment, and I’m hoping you’re back to your “normal” life in no time. Take care!!!!
Thanks, Renae. Yeah, the Boulder hippies are pretty rad. I used to live in Boulder but was never brave enough to actually do dreads, so I thought it was ironic that my hair did it naturally when it was falling out. That’s wonderful that you let your son be involved and shave your head. What a great strategy. Thank you for all well wishes. I really appreciate it! And I hope you are doing well too! I’m sending beautiful light your way.
You truly are an inspiration!!! Your family I am sure is beyond proud!!! Keep on fighting!!!!
Thank you, Lara! I appreciate it. I’m trying. I want my girls to see just how strong you can be even when you don’t think it’s possible because you’re only as strong as you let yourself.
Bless you! I too went through chemo, but I was one of the lucky ones that lost very little hair (It was very thick to begin with), so it just thinned out quite a bit. This story brought tears to my eyes remembering my little girl when my hair was thinning through the chemo. She would brush my hair and cry because it was coming out. I told her it was ok because that meant the sickness was falling out too.
Hi Debi, Thank you for your story. That is so beautiful. Your daughter’s lucky too for having such a strong mom! That’s good you shared your experience with her so she could learn by your example (not everyone does). Sending lots of well wishes your way!
you are a storm woman I have had to shave two women’s heads for cancer it never gets easy it is one of the most emotional things to do thank you for sharing your story
Thank you, Kaytlyn. Yes, it can be very difficult. I don’t think i would’ve made it through if I hadn’t made it into a fun head shaving party. Sometimes you just have to separate yourself from what’s really going on and just power through then once you make it through to the other side, you see it wasn’t that bad and can come to terms with everything.
Could’t agree more. Found out I had a brain tumor when I was 8 months pregnant with my now 11-year-old (!!!). She’s been my light, my fellow warrior, and my reason to take the next step the entire journey.
Hi Sky, Thank you for sharing your amazing story!!! You are truly a warrior. Being a new mom is hard enough but even harder when you’re battling cancer! Sometimes i think “ughh, this would’ve been so much easier if my girls were older,” but being with little toddlers and all their funny behaviors and seeing their sense of wonder at the world, make all the awful medical treatments so much easier. And I couldn’t agree more that our children become our light and our reason for staying strong and getting us through each chapter of our journey. Thanks for writing! I’ll remember your inspiring story.
I too had cancer ( stage 3 colon )September 22nd 2010. With 19 months of treatment from start to finish. You have too keep positive or it will consume you. I always made joke about my cancer, I just thought why could it be breast cancer then I could have gotten the much needed boob lift and reduction, and if I wanted new one’s they could use my tummy to make me new one’s, so I could have gotten a boob lift and a tummy tuck out of the deal, and that in its self is a win win situation, but NO I had BUTT CANCER! and what do you do with that. With the LOVE and SUPPORT of my HUSBAND, FAMILY, FRIENDS I made it threw.. Cancer changed me, and made me even stronger.. Best Wishes on a SPEEDY RECOVERY.
Hi Sharyl, Yes, you’re right, colon cancer is very difficult! I watched my grandmother suffer through it 20 years ago, when treatments were different. And you’re right, with breast cancer, there’s a cosmetic bright side and all the pretty pink ribbons. But You are an amazing fighter and you should carry all that awesome Fight Like a Girl shwag too! I can tell you are an amazing women and warrior! They say cancer changes you and if you deal with it successfully, you’ll turn into butterfly becoming the person you were truly supposed to be. It sounds like you have and you should be proud of that! You are an inspiration. Thank you for all the well wishes. I’m sending tons right back at ya!
(virtual hugs) I totally relate to your situation. I don’t have the kind of cancer that takes all of your hair but it took a TON! I have stage 4 metastatic Thyroid cancer and my kids are 12 and 7 but the were 7 and 3 when I was diagnosed. They have seen me go from being such an active person to someone that is tired, sad and afraid of dying. I go thru everyday trying to make it the best day possible for them and work thru the issues that come up. It’s not easy but I want them to grow up not thinking that they didn’t have a childhood because I was sick.
You are doing a great thing for your daughter – hair is hair – but it is traumatic to see it go. (I used to cry at the pile in the shower.) Cry when you have to, it’s good for you to let it out, scream if you have to, I do.
You are an inspiration. Keep kicking ass! <3
Hi Staci, thank you for sharing your story and all of your advice. Yes, it’s true–sometimes we forget to let ourselves cry or even allow ourselves to cry. I found that i do it in shower. I try to lean into the pain to get myself to the other side. Then, it’s easier to face my girls or the world with smile and laughter. I’m sending lots of prayers and love your way.
The second time I was going to lose my hair my daughter wanted to dye it Teal first and so we did. It was a mess, a blast, had blue hair for one night and make the whole ordeal so much easier to deal with. Bravo on your punkness!!
Oh that’s super fun!!!! I hope you didn’t have to clean it up. haha
what a great story!!
Love,Love,LOVE this story–so proud of you and your rock’n attitude!!!! Thanks for sharing and your grace while going thru all of this!!
Thank so much, Kyra! I really appreciate it!
Im crying now 🙁
oh no, don’t cry! You’re supposed to laugh and use extra hair gel! 🙂
Love your fierce spirit! Thank you for tears of happiness today. Praying for you always and knowing that God has you firmly in His grasp!